Ranking Every Neil Breen FILM
Neil Breen is my favorite movie director, and I've delved deep into his entire filmography, watching each of his movies multiple times. I even devoted an entire week to absorbing his nearly 6-hour-long behind-the-scenes video release, just to try to understand more about his original production process.
For fellow Neil Breen enthusiasts, ranking his films can be a daunting task. Many share similar plotlines, and their narratives often unfold in challenging ways on initial viewing. However, I've curated my list based on their enduring rewatch value. While some criticize Breen's unconventional storytelling style, I find it a deliberate artistic choice.
Here’s my ranking of all Neil Breen films, from least to most masterful:
#6 I Am Here…. Now (2009)
Most of Breen’s films have a slower pace and use repeating shots. So when I first watched the grammatically incorrect, “I Am Here…. NOW”, I really enjoyed it. There are a lot of classic shots and strong choices made in this film that help define Breen’s later work. Unfortunately, it suffers from slow pacing even by Neil’s standards and you’ll see the same stock footage sometimes 5 or 6 times. This makes re-watches not as enjoyable.
Still, if you’re a Breen fan, I think you’ll really enjoy this movie if you can find it. It has become increasingly difficult to own or watch because it is one of the two films Breen has taken off the market
I Am Here…. NOW Highlights
Fantastic Robot Jesus imagery
Amazing paperweight spaceship
Desert babies
#5 Pass Thru (2016)
Neil Breen is trying to say something about immigration here, but I’m not really sure what. Most of the plot focuses on alien, robot artificial intelligence and a love story? It’s really hard to tell with this one. My biggest issue with Pass Thru is the b-plots are much more enjoyable than the Breen storyline. Maybe it’s because I’ve already seen better versions of this same main character in his other films.
Pass Thru Highlights
Neil’s character name is “light” spelt backwards, Thgil.
Breen gets hit in the face with a rock.
The movie that gave us one of the most famous Neil Breen lines, “Isn’t that corrupt?!”
#4 CADE: THE TORTURED CROSSING (2023)
A direct sequel to his 2018 film, Twisted Pair. This was the very first Neil Breen movie I got to experience in the theater thanks to a limited theatrical release. I watched this with a sold out crowd and it’s one of the best viewing experiences I’ve ever had. I hope he’s able to have more theatrical releases in the future so others can experience this magic.
The film itself… I loved it when I first saw it, but it is the only Breen feature that actually hurt my eyes. Neil decided to film this whole thing with the use of his limited green screen knowledge and the final product becomes increasingly difficult to watch as the film progresses.
Cade Highlights
CGI tiger fight
Breen’s version of a Greek tragedy
Hospital patients dance number
#3 DOUBLE DOWN (2005)
After you see Breen’s first film, Double Down, you’ll understand why he’s become a beloved director for so many. Sure, most of the film’s runtime is just Breen scampering around an empty desert, but it’s really a magical experience watching this. Breen’s character can do anything he wants. He’s basically that annoying friend you had as a kid: “Ummm, I have a force field so you can’t see me and if you get close you die… Also I can hack anything… Can we take a break so I can eat some tuna?”
Double Down Highlights
Breen eating tuna from the can while driving around in the desert.
The coolest denim vest in the history of mankind.
You get to see Neil’s Breen-bag if you know what I mean.
#2 TWISTED PAIR (2018)
Watching Neil Breen walk around an empty college campus at night sounds boring and it is, but this film really makes up for it’s prolonged shots with some of the best Breen Screen in the whole Breen Universe. We get to see him fly around on screen, blowing up static images and computer labs.
Neil Breen has an evil twin brother. That’s all you really need to know.
Twisted Pair Highlights
Neil Breen can fly now.
The best fake facial hair in any movie ever made.
Most developed love story.
#1 Fateful Findings (2013)
Neil’s most ambitious film with multiple love stories, character deaths, and random acts of nonsense. Fateful Findings is Neil’s best work, hands down, and it’s easily my most favorite bad movie of all time. Neil Breen makes himself a genius computer hacker, best selling writer, and sexiest man alive. Every female character wants him and every male character needs something from him. All thanks to a magic rock he found as a kid.
We don’t even cover all the storylines in the episode above because the video would have been an hour long. Just do yourself a favor; buy a copy of this movie and hang it on your wall, so your friends know you’re a real film buff.
Fateful Findings Highlights
Neil Breen has three love interests
The best fake facial hair in any movie ever made.
Most developed love story.
There is my ranking of everything Neil Breen. If you enjoyed the videos above please subscribe and also check me out on Letterboxd.
